Six of one…

I was cleaning out my Gmail today and found an e-mail I had sent myself. The subject was “lj”, and I imagine it was a quick braindump intended to be posted on Live Journal. It’s numbered 1 – 6. It was probably in response one of those meme-y type fill-in-the-blank posts that get cycled around. I can’t remember what the questions were, but these were my answers:

1 – I once dreamed that I was being given a tour of the 3 Bears ultra-modern house by Papa Bear. Mid-70s ultra-modern. I was 4 . When we reached the indoor pool, Papa Bear stood on the edge and peed into it. I could feel him peeing in my dream and, of course, I woke up to a wet bed. Like a children’s version of Nightmare on Elm Street.

2 – My musical catalogue has grown more and more schizophrenic with age. For every wacked out Patton side project I pick-up there’s an old showtune added to my IPOD. I don’t know if the one is some kind of desperate pre-midlife-crisis reaction to the other, or if I’m just that hip. I fear the worst.

3 – I’ve learned my personal belief that small talk (for the sole purpose of killing silence) is to be avoided, and that most silence is not that uncomfortable, might lead some to label me as a snob. It’s not that I think you’re not worthy of my time – I just don’t think I have anything of value to add. If there something entertaining or interesting to discuss I’ll blab-on like a donkey on crack. (Note: “Blab-on” is being generous. The donkey metaphor is surprisingly accurate, though. Especially after alcohol and inappropriate conversation topics have been introduced.)

4 – I’m way too proud of the fact that I once tied four knots into one cherry stem with just my tongue and teeth. I’ve mentioned it more times than I should (before now). Having recently reconsidered this minor achievement, I’m of the opinion that If I actually applied this particular technique towards the skill it is meant to insinuate I would probably draw blood and tears so far beyond anything resembling arousal I would be arrested for attempted manslaughter.

5 – The only catlike ability I seem to possess is a left nut with nine lives. It has escaped near-death encounters with an angry wasp, molten-hot radiator water and a mid-air loss of a bike seat during a ramp jump (the pole the seat sat on was fully intact). My left thigh bore most of these assaults with honor.

6 – I once ate a whole tube of cookie dough. I was young.

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