Copy and pasted from an AIM conversation with my mom:
FingerLickingGod: bloooood
MyMom: HUH?
FingerLickingGod: sorry – wrong number
MyMom:
If you weren’t trying to talk to me, who were you talking to. Besides
that, I’m way cooler than you think. My favorite guitarist now is
Dimebag Darryl. I get around you know.
FingerLickingGod: you are bullshitting completely
MyMom: My
career as a schoold bus aide requires relating to very troubled
children in many different ways. I listen to lots of acid rock and
gothic groups. They are comforted when they are able to share with me.
FingerLickingGod: Dimebag is dead
FingerLickingGod: Could be a touchy subject with your new rock legions – stay informed
MyMom: NOOOOOO! Jason(the Alice Cooper wannabe) will be crushed. I’ll have to counsel him on the bus this afternoon.
FingerLickingGod: Seriously – he was shot on stage a few months ago – maybe last year. How’s your life?
MyMom: No
kidding? Really, I dont’ think Jason knows. My life is fine. I’m online
looking at QVC for things to organize with. That’s the fastlane in
Goodview.
FingerLickingGod: Life in the fastlane should be no sweat for such a rock ‘n roll warrior
MyMom:
You know me so well. OK got to get organizing, if all you guys are ok.
Tell everyone I love them. (you too by the way). Peace, bro
FingerLickingGod: That suits you so well – take care
That’s all for now. Pictures and art soon (relatively).
ShinolaHead 
Your mother sounds tough, like a lumberjack. Do you get to draw over there? Ever pick up any 2000 AD comics or whatnot?
I guess it’s funnier if you’ve actually met my mom. Although I think she is completely capable of axehandling a tree, I don’t think anyone would would ever come close to relating “lumberjack” with my mom. Anything paulbunyunistic just wouldn’t apply – 3/4 of a mamosa has resulted in her bouncing on a trampoline on Easter morning, and the word “fart” troubles her deeply.
She is far from square but she sure hasn’t sold her soul to rock ‘n roll. Maybe to Paul Simon, tho.
And yeah, I can draw over here – just haven’t much. I am drawing a few things now and should have them posted fairly soon.
Comics are too expensive over here. It’s about the same in pounds as dollars but a pound is worth over a $1.80. There was some really awesome comics in Germany but I didn’t have time to shop while I was there, but I’m looking forward to going back.
Man, that is hysterical. The thought of having that conversation with my mom causes me to have to stop, take a deep breath, and reorient myself within this reality.