Careful what you wish for….

So I retired from the military. Also, instead of asking for a contracting job with a relatively secure paycheck and slightly elevated standard of living, I asked for a job drawing comics. I got the job.

Shit.

I’m guessing I won’t be showing much of what I’m doing for a while. I will when I can. Here’s an old Longshot picture I forgot a I drew. I used it to practice brush inks on. I need to practice on many more things.

Ok – here’s a year’s worth of pics. I went to the Netherlands in the spring; Scotland by way of Carlisle, a few coastal towns and Hardian’s wall in the summer (You can see Ben working it with a Scotish waitress). London in the summer as well. Holly’s Birthday, Soccer, Easter stuff..etc. Alot more happened – it’s been a great year. I’m not going to lable these. If anyone’s curious about any specifics just ask.

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The Young New Mexican Puppeteer 
by Tom Jones

In a town near Albequerqe
Lived a most concerned young boy
He said lately I have noticed
Folks don’t live with peace and joy

With frowns and worry on their faces
They’re lost and don’t know where to go
He said I’ll get the people straightened
By putting on a puppet show

The young New Mexican puppeteer
He saw the people all lived in fear
He thought that maybe they’d listen to
A puppet telling them what to do

You know he got some string and he got some wood
He did some carving and he was good
And folks came running so they could hear
The young New Mexican puppeteer

First he carved out young Abe Lincoln
Abe will teach ’em civil rights
Then a king named Martin Luther
So they’d recall his peacefull fight

Old Mark Twain, his wit and wisdom
Will surely show them life is fun
But he smiled with satisfaction
When the prince of peace was done

The young New Mexican puppeteer
He saw the people all lived in fear
He thought that maybe they’d listen to
A puppet telling them what to do

You know he got some string and he got some wood
He did some carving and he was good
And folks came running so they could hear
The young New Mexican puppeteer
Now his puppet shows were clever
And he made the people laugh
When he got across the message
To walk along lifes open path

They built him his own puppet theatre
Decked out with spotlights yellow and red
And then they wrote him up in all the papers
And this is what the story said

It said…

The young New Mexican puppeteer
He saw the people all lived in fear
He thought that maybe they would listen to
A puppet telling them what to do

You know he got some string and he got some wood
He did some carving and he was good
And folks came running so they could hear
The young New Mexican puppeteer

Frickin’ Tom Jones was a prophet, man. I’m finishing up a few long languishing art projects (Matty) and this will be the next thing I work on. How could you not draw this story?

I got a new dog…

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I’ve got pics from Netherlands, Scotland, Christmas, Halloween, Hadrian’s Wall and tons more stuff…big update soon (really). My mom wanted to see pics of the dog so these go up 1st.

So I built a new computer..dual processing, 64-bit Windows…really nice. An absolute bitch to find drivers for, tho. Ipod? nope…printer? nope..scanner? nope. So I have been drawing but I can’t get them on he computer without a whole process..so they’ll wait. I’ve taken more pics..but I’m just lazy. I’ll get them up soon. I can, however, run he hell out of painter and photoshop. Big fat effects laden brush strokes with no stutter. It had been a while since I played with Painter so I just started playing around with brushes…..

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…hopefully I’ll post more soon.

eh..I quit doing these questionare things…I find them interesting at times but I figure “who cares?”…Well for some reason I cared about filling out a new one posted by Chris:

TEN “FIRST”S
First Best Friend: Todd – usually addressed by my parents in a combined name with his sister..where’s toddanlaura?
First Pet: Osa – I think that’s how you spell it…It’s greek – I just tried internetting it with no luck..I feel like a turd for forgetting
First Piercing: Ear – it’s out of use now
First Crush: probably Luara of toddanluara…
First Date: No clue….I fell into girlfriends by chance..I was to much of a wuss to make plans
First CD: Survivor – Eye of the Tiger
First Car: Chevi caprice classic…..velour
First Love: Caroline – I’m amazed at the length of that relationship considering the mistakes on both sides
First School: Hermatige Elementary – unless prescholl was someplace different…don’t know
First Drink: Probably wine or something with the family..or not..it was never a big deal

NINE “LAST”S
Last Beverage: Diet Cherry Coke…gimme a 1/2 hour and it’ll be Guinness…I’ve been off percocet for a few days and it’s been waiting
Last Car Ride: Ride home from work
Last Movie Seen: Oceans’ 12
Last Phone Call: Jenna from work
Last CD Played: Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Show Your Bones
Last Bubble Bath: Probably when I was a baby.
Last Song Listened to: Whatever Yeah Yeah Yeah’s song is being ripped into ITunes
Last time you cried: I think I’ve cried since I left for Korea…OH YEAH – being constipated after surgery…A single tear
out of pained frustration…worst 4 hours of my life…no kidding
Last bad thing you did: That’s so subjective…I’ll call it whatever’s at the one guilty thing below

EIGHT “HAVE YOU EVER”S
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: My dates became my best friends..but no, not from an existing bestfriendship
Have you ever been arrested: No
Have you ever skinny dipped: Yeah.
Have you ever been on tv: Yeah.
Have you ever cheated: Sure…on trivial stuff
Have you ever been in love: Yep
Have you ever been dumped: Yes and no – I haven’t had alot of relationships..the one were I was dumped – we got back together and
broke up a few of times..I broke it last
Have you ever been in a car accident: Yeah

SEVEN THINGS YOU’RE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Rubber ducky pj pants
2. Black shirt
3. Contacts
4. …
5. …
6. …
7. ..oh…deoderant

SIX THINGS YOU’VE DONE TODAY
1. Drank my fiber
2. Progressed on a few projects at work
3. Took on a drawing commission
4. Laughed my ass off
5. Ate crappy ribs
6. Read some Blacksad in the tub

FIVE FAVORITES
1. Frazetta
2. Cards
3. My family
4. This Easter – we had some friends over for Chinese Sunday night…we were dreading it because it turned into a big deal…
and all we did was sit around and talk…I haven’t laughed so hard in ages.
5. Drawing.

FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ALMOST ANYTHING TO
1. Jenna
2. Mom
3. Willy
4. who ever wants to listen – having to tell people that you need time off to remove an anal fistula kinda gets rid of your modesty

THREE CHOICES
Black or White? pick one for me
Hot or Cold? Hot
Chocolate or Vanilla? Dark dark chocolate

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. More
2. Just be a witness for what I have now, in the future…my kids, my wife, my friends
2.5 Scarlett Johanson

ONE THING YOU REGRET
1. Being lazy when being productive would have made me happier

Picspicspicspicspicspicspicspicspicspics and some pics

I really should update more – I have so much crap to post….

These pics range from Christmas to Germany in Feb to Dublin last weekend. I’ll try to lable them, but there’s alotmany so we’ll see how it goes.

HUGE CUT…many pics below.

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My apologies to everyone I almost killed…but I had to wee really bad.

I was stupid on Monday. If you know me and think singling out one day for stupidity is wishful thinking on my part – well this was especially moronic. Before I start let me ask for a visualization on your part – try to imagine holding an empty pop bottle (plastic, 16oz) like a cigarette, between your pointer and middle fingers, the sides level with the ground. Now imagine the same thing with an full pop bottle (plastic, 16oz). One’s easy and one’s a bit more trying. Also – keep in mind that England does not have strip malls, McDonalds, Exxons, Waffle Houses and other havens for weary travelers sprinkled along the roadside. What they have is very spread out.

OK…so Monday I had to wake up early and go get my wife’s parents from Gatwick airport..about a 2 hr drive. I wake up, get some coffee, go to the gas station, fill up, get a coke, some water, a candy bar..and I’m off. A half a bottle of water and a coke later and I have to pee. Not so bad, tho – and by my math I had only about 45 minutes left to go. Then traffic stopped. When it finally got moving again 20 minutes later I was almost in tears.

When you’re in a jam where waiting is between you and salvation, if you’re like me, wishfull thinking comes like a flood during the waiting. If only I had a big coffe cup, or a hose that I could trail from my crotch to the window, or sponge pants or…a small plastic coke bottle.

I should have got a clue that I had gone a bit dumb when I thought that I should finish the small amount of coke left in the bottle before spoiling it with pee. Waste not want not. Ok – traffic was thin, button fly undone, bottle uncapped and ready…now, of course in my minds preperations my weiner was going to be just laying on my thigh after I got it out past my drawers, ready to assist. Nope..it was cold.I had to tug it kicking and screaming into the fray. Also my mind seemed to have imagined a bottle with a much bigger hole in the top. A funnel would have been gold at that moment. So would’ve brains.

Ok – weiner in hand, bottle up, held in place with my pointer and middle finger..like a cig. Another check to make sure traffic is clear – no truckers needed to see this. AAaaaaaaannd….aaaaaaand…pppuuuuushhh. My weiner evidently was thinking far clearer than I was. I couldn’t make myself pee and trying to make myself pee was making me have to pee more. Man – this just wasn’t meant to be. Thank god I was stupid.

Another truck check..another push. Finally it started. AAAhhhhhh. Thank god. AAAhhhhh -ooh shit. Here’s were the visualiztion comes in handy – A bottle with an ever increasing amount of liquid becomes harder to hold horizontal, even harder to hold in a specific place in contact with a specific area, a specific area that is being held in place by my thumb and ring finger. I still had at least 6oz to go and I was losing control.

I still don’t know how I kept from just weeing all over my self and my car, but I maintained control. Of my car, my weiner and my wizbottle.

The perfect American Pie finish would involve me losing control of the car on the way home as I reached desperately towards the back seat, trying to grab the wizbottle before my in-law could drink the lemon-coke. That didn’t happen but whoever emptied that carpark trashcans at Gatwick on Monday…..I’m sorry – I really, really had to pee-pee.